sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I am spending my child support on dildos
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I think I just shit out all my problems.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
