oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
