Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize