Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
