ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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