just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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