It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
