Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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