He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize