haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
