I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
