I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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