and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
