i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Damn victory sex feels great
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