he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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