so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Are we still banned from the library?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize