if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
