I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Randomize
