Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
