Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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