Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
We got so high we made milksteak
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize