But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
