Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
You ate ashes out of my bong
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
