hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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