your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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