She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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