I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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