Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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