I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize