yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
