All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
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