Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
