He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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