he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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