1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
