It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
