Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
