3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize