shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
