I cannot find my penis.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
