i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
you never un-have a 4some
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
