another moral hangover. fuck.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize