let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize