every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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