so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
