I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
