Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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