dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
