It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Of course I have a pirate flag
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
