If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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