did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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