writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
