Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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