I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
