you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Come see our sink grown plant.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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