He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
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