a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
