Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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