I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
