I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
The uberlube is also flammable
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize