is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
